Tuesday, 14 August 2007

Amy you wino!

Hey true believers!

Yesterday was splendid! I got a visit from Bob Geldof asking me to headline live aid 3 with him. He brought his lovely daughter Peaches round. She wanted me to feed her world so I sent them both packing with a tin of sardines from Lidl. Scruffy Irish bastard...

I've also been experimenting with drinking in public. Makes it feel more authentic y'know? I made my way to the park with a plastic bottle but it didn't feel quite right so I donned a comical nose bandage and put me white lighting in a brown paper bag for the full experience. I got a bit pissed and started screaming at Amy Winehouse. lovely girl she is but she's a bit mental even by my standards. I gave her my version of "rehab" and she phoned the police.

It seems the court injunction is having little effect.

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