Now that I have my collection of diary entries from my myspace posted I can now get back to regular posts. So at last I can say:
HI TRUE BELIEVERS!
Well since I last got my typing fingers in motion a lot has happened. I've been on a family holiday. We visited a fine pub where I talked very loudly about the incredibly small portion put on by the new chef that night. In doing so I shattered some birds self-esteem so now she'll eat even less and serve even smaller portions, but enough about my troubles with the young ladies, or as popular rapper MC lycra would say, woes with the hoes. He's a rascal!
Me and my son Connell "The Kick Conspiracy" made a brief appearance at local chav extravaganza the weldon fest. We scuppered the organisers plans for a lycra free festival as I turned up in my newest look: Cowboy Cyclist Chic. It involves a small pair of lyrca shorts and bright orange shades and a cowboy hat.
Now that you've caught up with the goings on over the last month or so I can get back to the nitty gritty grind of my day to day life. Today was quite a fullfilling day. I awoke to the sound of some nut-job knocking on my door asking if he could borrow a lidl bag to shit in. This is not the start to the day a high flyer like me needs.
I staged my first auditions for my second feature film entitled: "The Rain From No-where". It is a silent movie starring only Scandinavian hobo's. I went through the ranks of Sweden's streets. I encountered a lovely lass named Guus. She assured me that she was in fact a female and that she has all the things in all the right places. She had quite a stubbly face though...
Then I drank cider whilst listening to radio 3.
Check back tomorrow when I'll be doing some more fun things.